Die

*sigh*...

This school year just needs to end. Like.... Really. Except for the fact that I am failing Math. And the fact that I have a D in English. I'm hoping I can get my grade up more. I am not thinking I can pass Math. But I would really like to, since I despise Math with a burning, fiery passion and DO NOT want to take it again. At all.

But I am going to stop complaining about that. Or at least I am really going to try. Sorry. Just try to ignore it.

Soooo..... I'm not exactly sure what to talk about now. I don't remember what my dream was from last night. I think it was a good one, though. At least I didn't wake up feeling terrible, like I do after a bad dream. That could just mean I didn't have one, though. I don't know.

Abby's music is rubbing off on me. I am getting depressed (she is listening to a song called "betrayal" by Apocalyptica). I don't really want to talk to anyone at the moment, but I probably will have to sometime soon. I can feel myself getting into one of my silent moods. I seem to be getting into those a lot lately. Hmmmm.... Maybe I am depressed. I don't really know.

I am starting to really hate life at the moment. Well, mostly just the fact that every time I see my parents they are yelling at me to do my homework and talk to my teachers and do everything right then. They don't seem to understand that it isn't that simple. It just isn't. I can't do everything at once, and they expect me to. I don't really think I am going to be able to pass Math, and I am doing all that I can to try to make it happen anyway, but this is how our conversations have gone for the past few weeks: "Why aren't you doing this?" "I already did everything I know how to do." "Well, how much didn't you do?" "Everything I didn't know how..." "Well, you need to learn from the book." "I can't. I don't understand it at all." "Well, you are going to have to. That is how I learned Math all through school." "I think they made them differently back then." "School hasn't changed that much from when I was in school thirty years ago." (Silence on my part, but really thinking, "You don't even know what school is like now.") "You don't seem to care that you aren't going to pass, but we are trying to help you." (again, silence, but thinking, "Of course I care. There is just nothing I can do to force my teachers to give me passing grades.") "Well, aren't you going to do something?" "I am doing it my own way, I know what I am doing. (Thinking, "I understand every part of my situation, you don't even know half of it.")" "Well, we tried your way; it didn't work." (Silence, but thinking, "No we didn't. We partially mixed my way and yours. That definitely didn't work.")

This was about the time that I walk away, parents yelling after me.

Sorry, I was going to stop complaining. I am starting to wonder if that is possible for me. Hopefully this stuff will all go away when school ends. Actually, probably not completely, but that would be nice. At least it will lessen quite a bit. Hopefully.

That was about the time